Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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