I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
