My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
