The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
