Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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