new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
