I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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