You smell like stripper and shame
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
