At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
