Jerry, you need to find god
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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