I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
