Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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