So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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