I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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