He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
