So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
