He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
