i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
