I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize