I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
