Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
