It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
