i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
