discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
