its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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