i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
