We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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