We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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