Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
