I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
