Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
