So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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