What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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