just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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