the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
