I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
