woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
