I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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