hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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