Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone shattered a urinal.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
