Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
