im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
