I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
