....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
