I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
