Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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