i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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