he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Come on in and take your pants off
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