peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize