David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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