my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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