it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
