Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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