wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
