wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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