I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
