I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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