I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
